‘The Mummy’ Review

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Our Rating

3 Reanimate Corpses Out Of 103
3

An American Tourist in London

When it was announced that Tom Cruise would be staring in the new Mummy movie, I like most of you signed off. Nothing can make us less impressed than a remake or reboot. However when the news broke that this was in fact the start of the new Universal Dark Universe, my interest peaked. So with an open mind and a hopeful heart I watch The Mummy, but I suppose the real question is, should we worship at it’s feet or bury it below stands never to be found again?

The Mummy

Firstly, we should never ever, ever, under all circumstances worship at Tom Cruise’s feet, I like him as an actor but the man is totally mental (remember when he just went INSANE on Oprah?). Secondly, I truly feel like The Mummy is somehow about immigration but I just can’t work it out. Thirdly, the main problem with The Mummy is it’s own concept. Let me try to explain.

The Mummy

There are some films which surprise you (the recently released Colossal for example) and there are some films which simply become a by the numbers tick box chart (the recently released Pirates Of The Caribbean for example), then there are some films which both are a tick box chart AND surprise you (the recently released Wonder Woman for example), The Mummy is the middle candidate and the worst thing is it doesn’t even try to hide it.

The Mummy

The entire movie feels like it was just made to set up the next film (the next film isn’t teased or implied, the franchise is just left totally open ended instead), there is some half-baked plot points but it all feels far to stale and rigid. I truly appreciate that Alex Kurtzman and Universal have attempted to take movie in a new direction, but it’s the total wrong direction.

The Mummy

Also, The Mummy all rings faintly of other films, the way the reanimated bodies move is a little bit The Walking Dead, a little bit 28 Days Later and a little bit American Werewolf in London, actually it’s a lot like American Werewolf, borderline a carbon copy in chunks.

The Mummy

The Mummy

On the positive side Tom Cruise is a man who is so strongly dedicated to his role it hurts. He really tries to convey at least one other emotion apart from “smug” in this film, we have Annabelle Wallis who barely lifts a finger unless it puts her in mortal danger, and Sofia Boutella as the title role. Sofia is supremely under used for all of the movie, and don’t worry I haven’t forgotten old Russell…

The Mummy

Russell Crowe. I honestly thought that in The Mummy he had put his bizarre accents behind him. He hasn’t, the film goes to great lengths to keep Russell Crowe’s identity from the audience, but I can’t help but think.. for who? We know who he is; it’s been announced on the trailer and in press for the other universal movies, and that accent… In The Mummy, Crowe brings out the single worst cockney accent I have ever heard. From anyone. Ever.

It’s all so disappointing, the ideas showed such promise, but with nothing new to offer and what is put forward isn’t completed The Mummy is a film that should be moved onto the next world. If this is the start of better things, Universal don’t have high to reach for

The Mummy

 

 

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